How I Partnered with the Producers of The King's Speech & What I Learned Along The Way - Part 5
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For much of my life I had the feeling I had never been fully committed to anything. I thought this lack of commitment was freedom. I was wrong.
Freedom was something entirely different. An intense experience of what I believe was freedom happened to me in England. I only mention it because I believe that in some inexplicable way this experience was tied to the Quiet Voice.
In the movie “Chariots of Fire” the Olympic runner said, “When I run I feel the pleasure of God”. This experience of freedom was kind of like that. When I let go, and trusted and ventured into the unknown, I felt the pleasure and exhilaration of something wonderful within me. It was an exhilaration I had never experienced before or since and I believe in some way it was somehow the Quiet Voice expressing its pleasure, I don’t know.
IT happened while I was driving north to the coast. It was a spontaneous and unplanned decision. I wasn’t sure exactly what would happen. I didn’t know when I would reach the coast, or when I would find my way to my destination or what I would encounter along the way. I had no plan and no schedule. The spontaneity of it, the unpredictability, the total absence of planning, the expectation and waiting on the North Sea to magically appear, made about twenty minutes of time one of the most exhilarating, intense, remarkable, unforgettable experiences of FREEDOM that I have ever known.
What an amazing experience. I’m not sure I have ever been more firmly in the NOW as I was during that drive from Castle Acre to the coast but I will NEVER forget it. I’m not sure what it means but I know it was real.
(pixabay.com)
If there were doubts they had to be relinquished, if there were fears they needed to be overcome.
This time, when I picked up the last draft of “The King’s Disposition” and was disappointed – I decided to listen.
“Be merciless”, the Quiet Voice seemed to whisper.
“Merciless? What does that mean? Merciless with who? About what?”
“With yourself, do everything in your power to be the best you can be. Survival in this highly competitive world demands it.”
(pixabay.com)
Instead of avoiding work and revisions, I embraced them. If it meant 100 rewrites – a 100 it would be.
Committing to my very best was a scary prospect. I had no way of knowing if the Quite Voice would EVER be fully satisfied but this story with its great and momentous proportions, with its amazing and true characters, was just too important for me not to be fully committed.
“Try harder”, “dig deeper”, “gather the skills you need to do your very BEST and not settle for just pretty good”. This time I would listen, and I did.
I would preserver until there were no more objections, until the Quiet Voice was satisfied. But I had no idea when that would ever happen.
I believe John had similar periods of doubt, worse than mine. He struggled his entire reign to recover what he lost. In a way I was involved in a similar struggle.
John’s brother, the lauded Richard the Lionheart – cast by modern media as an inspired and heroic King, and wildly popular.
Richard the Lion-heart
(pixabay.com)
John, his successor is cast as the flip side, evil, cowardly, despotic – the villainous enemy of Robin Hood (who never existed) universally disliked. Neither description is entirely true. Where he really shone was in his ability to outwit his adversaries and turn his powerful enemies against one another protecting himself and his family in the process. Historians have interpreted his submission as weakness and defeat, but it appears more like strategy and cunning to me.
Finally, the Quiet Voice did not speak!
I re-wrote and re-wrote (there were many drafts of “The King’s Disposition”) and guess what, one day after reading the latest version, to my amazement, the Quiet Voice did not speak! I could read the piece cover to cover without discomfort, without the immediate urge to revise a scene or a section or the entire work. It was a wonderful feeling of peace, contentment and freedom. I had finally satisfied its call for higher quality, at least to the best of my ability. That’s really the only bar there is.
(pixabay.com)
I finally understood my “Voice” and I was now, like never before, fully committed. I was ruthless with myself, merciless with my work and prepared to start over and change anything that didn’t feel right, again and again and again until the Quiet Voice no longer objected. This calm, this inner peace, became my yardstick for completion. I would apply it from this moment forward to everything I wrote, or perhaps I should say it would apply me.
At my peril
I was starting to realize that my “Voice” came from the heart and not the head. I also realized I ignored it at my peril. But ignore it again I would and much to my regret.
I truly hope this blog helps those of you working towards a goal or a dream and struggling with the amount of commitment required to achieve it. The feeling of peace that comes when you known you have actually done your very best and are finally fully committed is a welcome respite.
Part 6: “1 of 134” is next, feel free to share!
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